Latest from Family Teams for Christ
Mike & Lisa Conn in Partnership with FamilyLife
Invite you to attend the Weekend to Remember
February 10-12 2012
Embassy Suites, Montgomery
Drive away with the road map to a great marriage!
Contact Mike & Lisa Conn at 334 462 5227
for half-price registration
or email mike.conn@familyteamsforchrist.org
The Surprising Qualities I Discovered in My Future Spouse
By Lisa Conn, River Region’s Journey Magazine, September 2011
The year was 1980. Mike and I had been dating over a year. And I was mad. I was very mad. I was more than mad—I was scared. I was scared because I was on the verge of losing my heart, and I knew it.
So, I laid down an ultimatum. Now, you have to understand that with Mike Conn, laying down an ultimatum is not an easy thing to do. It takes courage and lots of it. It takes determination, resolve and nerve. And those are qualities that don’t come naturally for me. Those are more “Mike Conn” types of qualities. But, out of desperation, I dug down deep and found some southern-girl grit and gumption I didn’t know I had. Then, I doggedly trudged over to his beachfront apartment in Biloxi, Mississippi, which was only a few hundred feet from my beachfront apartment.
They say your life flashes before your eyes right before you die, and that’s what I experienced in the two minutes it took to walk from my place to his. You see, my life really began the day I met Mike. Not long after moving into my efficiency apartment, I’d noticed a crowd of singles gathering by the pool each day after work. Finally, I ambled out and met a few. Mike was a handsome blonde with a deep tan and bottomless blue eyes. Then one day, he casually asked if I’d like to join him for a sail on his 16 ft Hobie Cat with tequila sunrise sails. Of course I said, “Yes!” I was a little dismayed when another guy from “the crowd” joined us, but he helped Mike carry the heavy boom and sails, so it was okay, but I made sure no one knew when we were going for a sail after that.
During the weeks and months that followed we learned more about each other: Mike was an officer in the USAF—a Navigator in EC-130 aircraft. He looked really cute in his flight suit. He was a Mississippi boy with strong family ties despite his parent’s divorce, loved to snow ski, play tennis, and sail. I worked in Labor & Delivery at a local hospital while attending nursing school.
Early in our relationship I realized there was something special about Mike—some qualities I had never seen in the boys I dated. It was difficult to define exactly, but I would see it at times like on a Saturday night when he’d kiss me good night at my door and then ask if I’d go to church with him the next morning. Or when he would wash a sink full of dirty dishes left behind by his roommates and never complain. Years later, I was able to name some of those qualities that attracted me to him: goodness, kindness, integrity, and honor.
I knew I was falling in love with this man who was different from any I had ever known, and it was wonderful and scary at the same time. Wonderful because he was wonderful and there were times I was so overwhelmed by his wonderfulness that I would blurt out, “Mike, I love you!” And really scary, because at those times, he would casually smile and answer, “Thank you”!
As I drew closer to Mike’s apartment, my courage was quickly fleeing, and I had to cling to the resolve that had started this whole thing: I had fallen for this guy, but he didn’t feel the same way about me. I needed to know once and for all exactly where I stood. If he didn’t love me, then I was out of here. We were done. Period.
I knocked on the door. My heart was hammering so hard, I knew he could hear it through the wall. I got right to the point. “If you don’t love me, then I’m out of this relationship.” Have you noticed how men get a little defensive at times like this? Well, that’s what Mike did. He blustered about a bit, and then went over to his filing cabinet and yanked it open. I thought to myself, “What in the world is he doing?”
Then Mike pulled out a legal document I had never in my 24 years seen before. Unknown to me, his Commanding Officer had ordered Mike and others in his unit to have a will drawn up. He was part of a handpicked group in-training for a possible second mission into Iran to rescue US Embassy hostages. (Fortunately, when President Ronald Reagan entered office, the hostages were released.) At that moment, I learned that Lt. Mike Conn had specified that Miss Lisa Cox (me), upon his untimely death, would receive any and all necessary funds required to complete her nursing education.
No longer defensive, but now kind and tenderhearted, Mike asked, “Do you think I would have you in my will if I didn’t love you?” And I answered, “Thank you”.
The next day, we started looking at engagement rings.
Happy 30th anniversary, blue eyes.
What We Do
- Our Spiritual Journey: Developing a clear spiritual foundation for each FTC. Understanding where you are, where you want to be and what you need to do to get there.
- Building a Family Team for Christ: Equipping couples and parents with the biblical tools they need to build their FTC. Grow closer to your spouse as you define your family values, understand your difference and learn how to minister to one another.
- Character-Centered Parenting: Developing the character-centered parenting skills needed to train and equip the next generation of mature Christian adults committed to building their own FTC. Learn to parent proactively with scripture while building good character in your children.
Resources
The HomeBuilders Couples Series® helps you build a godly marriage and develop lifelong friendships. The HomeBuilders Parenting Series® takes the struggle out of parenting. In addition, there are HomeBuilders studies for military couples and families. For a complete list of HomeBuilders studies available to you, visit www.familylife.com/homebuilders.
